My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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