Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
