He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
