new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Alive.
So much puke
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
