Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
