k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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