You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize