so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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