Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
His nipple licking is glorious
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