my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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