Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
