OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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