I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just had sex on a roof
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
