The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
