So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize