I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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