4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize