His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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