Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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