she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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