does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize