god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
