yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
