She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Drake has all the answers
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
