How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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