In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
