hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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