Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
