for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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