I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
