i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
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