i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
