marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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