I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
