i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
