North Korea, Best Korea!
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
