That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
