Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
