My nipple is on Facebook.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
