You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
