that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
