How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The power of my boobs compel you
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize