Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize