What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
