Sry I called you an 8
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
