fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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