We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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