why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
