Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
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