i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
