if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she smelled like a LAN party
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
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