Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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