it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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