Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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