If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
