Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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