I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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