What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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