I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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