i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
