O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
