You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
