ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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