How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
